I don’t think the majority of people can understand the pain and loss that we experienced through infertility, miscarriage, and failed adoption. We have a second bedroom in our home where the door remains closed, for behind it is a collection of baby items being unused. One day I will figure out the right thing to do with those items; I suppose I sway between donating them or selling them for funds to make an extra special vacation somewhere (...maybe stay at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite for a night...).
Over the weekend, I had to take on a number of comments about children. About how my lack of children is mental...about how I am missing out on life...blah blah blah. Why can’t people understand that we tried, and if it just wasn’t meant to be, we are okay with that. We are moving on.
I always tried to keep the blog positive, but I suppose now I am wishing I shared all of the pain, the tears, the dishonesty, the lack of ethics... I have been miserable dealing with it all; it is just now that I am starting to be able to dig out of the hole to find happiness again. And then one weekend with too many comments and...right back down again. Living a life outside the norm is not always so easy - I suppose that will never end.
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9 comments:
Sorry you had a tough weekend. I wish people could be kinder and more understanding. And less judgmental.
I'm sorry sweetie. It's probably all part of the process. It's not like it's something you can just turn off!
A night at the Ahwanee sounds like an awesome idea. Maybe some day when I'm rolling in the dough. ((Hugs))
I'm sorry you had to have a weekend full of those comments. It does get easier, though as much as you think you've heard it all, someone will say something that will take you aback.
Hopy your week is better than your weekend!
You really have kept your blog positive. I don't know how you have done it but you have. The comments that I hear sometimes are really, really dumb, mean, or ignorant. I have a hard time letting them go but somehow that has to happen. I know I have made dumb comments to people and I hope they have let them go.
I am sorry too. I hope the commenters meant well (just a foot in the mouth moment - I've had plenty of those). Hugs to you.
We just experienced a second failed adoption (I haven't talked about it on the blog yet...a little too raw.) I am just now to the point where I am starting to get over it, and it happened maybe three weeks ago. Sigh. I share so much on my blog, but I just haven't written about this because while I know everyone will be sympathetic, I guess it makes it real to post it. Double sigh.
I'm so sorry for the tough time that you've had. Hope you have a better weekend and the people you encounter are more considerate of your feelings. :)
Sigh...Just found your blog through Sissy. I agree with what you shared. Some parts of the journey are too hard to share let alone have to explain. Many will never understand until they've faced it themselves.
We were blessed with our daughter through adoption so quickly the first time. This time however is dragging on and on and... We are coming to a point where we need to make a decision. Do we continue to wait or do we accept that a second child isn't part of God's plan for us. Maybe it still is but it's through the foster care system instead of private adoption. I don't know. I wish there was a guide or a clear cut path.
What I do know is this...when you are waiting and without that little one to call your own it's hard. You find it hard to figure out how you fit in. Everything revolves around families with kids. It's a stage most of our friends go through so when you're the only couple w/o children or grandchildren it makes it even harder. I remember feeling like I didn't belong to some society club that everyone had been invited to but my husband and I. The hardest part was feeling like I was such a failure in the ONE thing I as a woman was created to do. Give birth and raise a child or children.
I am praying you and continued healing.
BTW, YOU WILL LOVE YOSEMITE and that LODGE! HEAVEN! That or take a cruise and hike around europe. The sky's the limit!
Please excuse my grammar and spelling mistakes in my previous comment. I can't believe how many mistakes I made.
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