Happy New Year! We had a nice holiday and have been busy. Between family, friends, volunteering, and work …we had our share of holiday events. I have also been trying to close the books out on the business – easier said than done.
Over the past few weeks, I discovered a whole new world of blogging; for so long, I have been focused on following adoption blogs to have not discovered a whole world of photograph/travel/parks blogs. When doing research for our vacation, I discovered a blog of a couple who lives out of their RV and are park rangers in the summer (I want to be them). From there, I found more blogs of people visiting parks and posting their beautiful photography. There is a blog site devoted to scenery photographs – “Scenic Sunday”…who knew!
One of my problems with following adoption blogs is that there are just a few of us out there from the original bunch that still do not have kids. One of several things happens after the kids arrive…
- The blogs go private…bye bye.
- The blogs just don’t get posted on anymore; I suppose new parents just don’t have the time.
- The blogs are extremely child focused (which I suppose they should be). But as you see these kids grow, it makes you sad. Sad about the child you lost…sad about the situations that didn’t happen…sad about the money you spent…sad about the adoption agencies that didn’t act ethically….sad about losing your original counselor…sad that your new counselor did not meet your expectations…sad about how you failed to have a family.
- The blogs remain just as they did…with the blogger posting about not just their children – but their family, life, and happenings…these are the ones I tend to keep following!
I also have discovered a world of blogging of people living without children. Part of trying to have children, but not being successful leaves you feeling as if you are a failure (and it doesn’t help when people actually tell you that your life is not meaningful without children and we should do anything and everything to get them). Finding these blogs is helping me understand that this is not the case. I am making a choice to distance myself from those who believe children are the sole source of happiness and a successful life – you are bringing me down! This might be the case for you, but it does not have to be the case for everyone. Childless by choice, childless by consequence, childless through loss...happiness can happen without children.
5 comments:
I know what you mean about the blogs you've been following when the placements happen. I've had to stop following some, or just not reading because they become completely baby-centric. And then I'm sad because some bloggers disappear that I really like. :( I guess we'll see what happens to me! Lately I feel like I'm too whiny, must find something else to blog about besides being annoyed with the wait. btw, great ornaments!
I love you! You are such an amazing woman. I look up to you so much. What a great idea as far as searching for something different. Happiness is whatever you make it out to be. You are brilliant. :)
I know that I'm getting to the point where my blog is going to shift topics somewhat. I feel like a transition is taking place and transitions are so vital because transitions mean that change is coming and even though change is hard, it's necessary. Whether that change is a change of address or a change of focus, change is necessary and crucial. Thank you so much for your inspiration KT.
I'm guilty of going baby focused. If i do have time it's usually to stick up a picture (and I vowed not to be that kinda woman. ugh)
I'll look into the national park blogs. I'd love to work at the parks in the summer once we retire. I haven't gotten Mr H to warm to that idea yet though. I'm completely obessed with Glacier. (they have a very cool FB page btw)
OH I love the puzzle reindeer ornament and I'm totally stealing that idea.
There was one blog I was following and they were out in Oklahoma picking up the baby and scared the momma wouldn't sign the papers and then all of a sudden it went private. So sad. I know what you mean about blogs whose writers have the Child Tunnel Vision Syndrome, as I put it. I read food blogs, photo blogs, adoption blogs and decorating blogs. My sidebar has many different types on the list! It's okay to be diversified!
I totally have slacked on my posts...ugh! I'm such a cliche! I love this post, I agree so much with what you said, that you don't have to have children to have a meaningful life. Lives take all forms and whether or not we are happy comes from within each of us. It's not dependent on anything outside ourselves. I'm looking forward to checking in to see what amazing adventures you continue to have with your beautiful family :)
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