This is the time of year we remember our baby; this is the sad time of year when our child went to heaven. We did see the heart beating and we had a lovely short time together. It was a very happy time in our life, but also a very sad time – things were never the same after that summer day.
We are a family of two. (From once being told that life is meaningless without a child to being told that our problem is only mental...it is often difficult to throw comments like these aside, instead, they just open up an old wound that never seems to fully heal.) WE ARE A FAMLY OF TWO.
We did try to adopt, but were met with such a lack of ethics and continual disappointment that it just didn’t feel right anymore; we lost so many kids. Some of the cases were a perfect fit, and we wonder why they didn’t work out…others, we just never felt a connection and couldn’t force expanding our family. I do wish we could have those four years back – they were not very good ones.
We have eight extra legs around the house and two more mouths to feed – Mr. Rowan dog and Puppy Dog Andra keep us plenty busy. We have a lovely home on Gates Place in an area where public land is close and in so many directions. We typically go on two fabulous vacations a year together. We are doing just fine as a family of two… and need to better learn not to let others continually rain on our parade!
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8 comments:
Such a bittersweet time of remembrance. I'm glad you have some furry friends to keep you company though I know they can never replace your precious one or those that you hoped to adopt. Hugs. xx
Hi, I found your post while reading about life after infertility. I wanted to write to let you know that I too have 3 angel baby dates scattered through the year and I know the sadness that comes of this loss. It is beyond words.
I am now facing life with the very possibility of no children.
I liked reading your adventures into nature that is where I really can connect with the bigger picture of all this and at how poerless we really are when it comes to nature.
Thanks for sharing it has given me some comfort, Debs
I think of your little baby a lot too. It is very hard.
I also see adoption as the biggest struggle I think I have ever seen. The waiting, the scrutiny, the imbalance in the whole situation, the huge emotions on all sides, and the complete lack of control.
(((hugs)))
A family is a family as long as you are with people you love ... Thinking of you ...
I think it is lovely to remember and honour your lost baby here, as well as remembering those children who didn't come to you through adoption.
I'm so glad you're doing just fine as a family of two - as are we. I wish we had known it would be okay when we were going through the tough times.
I can't imagine what you went through and it must be a difficult time of year indeed. I'm glad to hear you're coming out to Colorado, we're open for business. All the tourist attractions are open again in Colorado Springs, from a tourist's perspective it's just a few trails that locals use that have been affected by the fires.
people don't get it. They never will. We get insensive comments all the time. A family is love - I know you have lots of that! ((hugs)) as you remember & heal.
These "anniversary" dates can be so hard, even years later, no matter how good your life is now. Sending you (((hugs))) and good wishes. Families of two are still families!
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